|Not an advertisement.|
Regardless of how absurd that sounds, I can almost guarantee there will be some talk radio idiot with nothing real to talk about, desperate for content, who will try to make this silly movie into a political argument. Well, screw you, obnoxious pundits, I'm going to beat you to it, because stupidity is easily predictable:
"This Guardians of the Galaxy movie is immediately, upon it's title, presupposes that any one minority group gets to dictate the security of an entire galaxy. What if there's a Muslim solar system that is at odds with that galaxy? Will these 'Guardians' guard against that solar system in order to protect our galaxy? No, only a coordinated military force, a strong defense system is necessary to maintain the galaxy status quo and make sure that business is protected. Thank you, lower our taxes. Typical liberal propaganda. They're trying to use all the pretty colors and spaceships and explosions to indoctrinate our children!
|By astoundingly talented Christopher Umiga. Image source.|
"A talking raccoon whose best friend is a tree? That is obvious, overt environmentalist agitprop. Oh, I get it, Earth is supposedly so uninhabitable, that man and nature have to take refuge in space? And they're fraternizing with aliens, a symbol of illegal aliens, no doubt. Why isn't it strong, white characters leading a group of misfit aliens, inhuman creatures without a home, giving those aliens purpose as only white males can do? (Editor's note: Holy crap, that's what this movie is, isn't it? Oh god, I'm not sure I want to see this movie anymore.)
"The protagonists aggrandize scofflaws as though urinating on the sovereign laws of a society is something to be admired. Scofflaws are not heroes! I bet that Groot character grows marijuana off its head or shoulders, maybe.
"They use guns, which is refreshing in a movie churned out by Liberal Hollywood. But they push forth the laser gun agenda, what about the jobs lost in the projectile bullet industry? These Hollywood types don't think about the hard working American bullet manufacturers, do they? That is why I am here, folks, I am the salt of the earth, the pickle of humanity if-you-will.
"Protect your children! Stay home and watch something like the 'Left Behind' series or read bedtime stories by Matt Drudge or practice waving flags while you still can! The Hollywood elite are coming for your children!"
Should you watch Guardians of the Galaxy (Not an endorsement...unless they pay me) this weekend, I hope you are able to watch without being distracted by the political agendas of the filmmakers (of which there probably were none).