- A pop star, whose entire career rests not on talent but on sensationalism, will do something to garner attention and shall be granted it by people in a mad rush to judge actions without recognizing context.
- The world will continue to not care about competitive swimming.
- Another planet will be downgraded Pluto-style (SUCK IT, Neptune! You deserved it you icy butthole! Whoops, no spoilers. Pretend I didn't mention Neptune by name. Like, maybe I said Jupiter, that self-important gas bag.)
- A moderately ugly black woman will go missing and no one will report on it.
- A moderately pleasant-on-the-eyes blonde, white girl will go missing and the media will lose their collective mind.
- Congresses and Parliaments around the globe will continue to obstruct the flow of progress in lieu of perceived political gains. The only light among them is Parliament Funkadelic who will continue to progress roof-tearing-off funk goodness.
- Someone in your office will have a filthy sick child cough in his/her face, thus causing a plague-like outbreak throughout your office.
|The cuddly version of how I picture every parents' house during the month of December.|
- You or someone you know will have started or/and abandoned a podcast.
- A massive operation in the US will find that 90% of all libraries are just fronts for meth labs. We have only ourselves to blame for abandoning the moral center of society that is the Dewey Decimal System.
- The malaise that is the holiday taint leading up to Christmas will give rise to lazy reporting that births overly-sensationalized stories of no consequence meant only to induce people to click the stories, drive internet traffic, and artificially increase ad revenue based off stories without base or substance...wait, that's all year, prediction retracted.
- The War on Christmas will come to a sudden halt as Christians realize that Christmas and most of its traditions are simply re-appropriated Pagan celebrations. They all lay down their arms and celebrate this thinly-veiled tribute to consumerism.
- A blogger will be revealed to be cynical.
There you have it, airtight predictions from our resident soothsayer. May you all fair well surviving the traditional winter child-originated plagues.