This one is a lot of text, but for a purpose.
Tomorrow (Wednesday) is a day of protest. Many across the internet will be protesting SOPA (a shoddily written law that gives craven political weasels too much authority over the proletariat despite being a well-intentioned [giving the benefit of the doubt there] way to reduce online thievery of intellectual property) by participating in an internet "black out" day. Not being racist, and having no idea how to take down Pickleope for a day, I can't go that far. What I can do is change my normal posting schedule so that a post comes out today (Tuesday) instead, thus keeping my promise to you the reader of three posts or more per week.
Online piracy is stealing. Justify all you want, it's stealing. But giving government overarching powers of censorship without allowing the accused to defend him/herself or rectify the perceived violation is wrong. It's like giving government the authority to shut down small businesses. Yeah, I know, "they're only going to go after the people doing something wrong." Sure they are, that's what governments do, they stick within the letter of the law and NEVER abuse their authority. They never try to erode rights by creating a loophole then exploiting and stretching that loophole until it's a hula-hoop (re: Rico laws).
Okay, enough of my justified mistrust of vague legislation that takes rights away from people. I must service my mandate, which is: DANCE CLOWN!
I was at the GAP today (sorry, I'm not "text-shouting" at you, that's how GAP! spells it. It's like they're yelling at you all the time. Mellow out, gap.) Aside from my shame of shopping at a store designed and predicated on preying on bland, middle-class white people, and realization that being low-class I should be shopping at Old Navy (and if I was upper-class I'd shop at Banana Republic. Whoa, they've established a class system in their own chain stores! Whoa, I just turned into Keanu Reeves.), I noticed GAP!! has the audacity to arrange things in a way that comically mocks their consumers. Size small and medium are put on the top shelf/rack whilst the large and extra-large are put on the bottom shelf/rack. Where's the logic in that? The shorter people who fit into the small can't reach the high rack and tall people are being forced to bend over unnaturally and unnecessarily to retrieve their super-bland XL clothes. This is bigotry focused specifically on differently-heighted people! The GAP!!!, through their discriminatory policies are forcing us specially-heighted individuals to stretch or bend or CONFORM to their specifications without any concern to our well-being. It seems clear that GAP!!!! hates people who don't fit into their "bland" ideal. And it becomes more clear when you go into Banana Republic and can't find sweaters to tie around the necks of smaller or larger humans (please don't tie sweaters around your neck, it's gross, wrong, and lets people know you're okay with beating women and minorities).
Stand in solidarity with people outside of the "average" of 5'1"-5'10" range, or those with gooey dimensions who shouldn't have to bend down, and protest against the super-bland oppression imposed upon you by the GAP!!!!! corporation...At least until they give us each a gift card and CHANGE THEIR PRACTICE!
"Hell no, we won't bend down or strain ourselves by reaching too high", doesn't have a good ring to it.
Maybe, "Tall or small, respect us all!" Yeah, that's way better.
"Minnie or Biggie we all deserve to shoppie!" Yeah, not so good. It's hard to protest massive corporations based on height. Can you help? That would be great. Or maybe I'll work backwards from causes that have life-or-death consequences rather than focusing on b.s. nonsense.
Regardless, screw you GAP!!!!!! because you're inconsiderate (there may be a metaphor in there connecting the first part of this post).