Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Free Tibet?

Disclaimer: I am dumb. 
Addendum to Disclaimer: Being dumb has not stopped me from pontificating on subjects because they make me laugh. If you have actual facts which may elucidate a different way of thinking, I probably won't read it because I am lazy and that includes eye-lazy--so lazy I don't like moving my eyes to read. So if you have facts, I would greatly appreciate you putting them into cartoon form. 

Perhaps you have heard of the Tibetan Freedom movement. On the surface it sounds very altruistic. If not, the basic idea is, "China took over Tibet and is now subjugating the people to China's rule."

But was Tibet a great paradise before China snatched it up? By the cursory reading I did, it looks like the Buddhist Lamas were subjugating people and making the majority of the population their serfs. One could say that China came in and dethroned an oppressive theocracy. No? Yeah, probably not.
Retroactive Disclaimer: What I know about China is relegated to Yao Ming, the opening ceremony of the Olympics a few years ago, and that they really aren't down with freedom of expression (shout out to Ai Weiwei! S'up homey!).
Disclaimer about the last disclaimer: I only know Yao Ming is tall, and I didn't watch the opening ceremony but I heard about it, but me and Ai Weiwei are tight.
That's my homeboy, Ai Dubs, playing with rocks (that's our little inside joke about how he rocks and is under house arrest). Source
Historic context aside, there are a lot of people who really want to free Tibet who know a lot more than me. You've probably seen the "Free Tibet" bumper stickers and maybe want Tibetan freedom yourself. But how far are we willing to go for that freedom? 

Would those who support the Free Tibet movement be okay with a full-scale war? Is that cool?

What if China was said, "okay, we're willing to free Tibet if that giant Kardashian sister, you know, the one with the Y chromosome, is made an official U.S. Supreme Court justice. We also demand that Cadbury Cream Eggs are no longer seasonal and offered year-round whilst also ceasing all production of Peeps. Finally, we get to pick one child from each country that has ever been a part of the British Empire. Just one child each and we get to do whatever we want with him or her. Fair deal?"

How far are you willing to go, Tibet Freedom people? Are you willing to sacrifice a small child to free Tibet, or are you not that serious about this pet cause? Is this like how I claim I care about losing weight and immediately after making that proclamation drink a gallon of nacho cheese flecked with Gummy Bears and plug a keg of beer into my belly button whilst trying to remain as inert as possible.

I said GUMMY BEARS! This deal is OFF! Burn that country to the ground!  In all honesty, I'd try this. What!?! Like you didn't eat the Doritos Locos taco? Don't judge me. Thank you
What if they said, "We'll totally free Tibet (which is how all diplomats talk), if all the English-speaking countries of the world make table tennis the national sport, learn at least two new Asian-based languages, stop using the word 'Oriental' for any reason, do calisthenics one hour each morning, and cut it out with the driving and tiny wiener jokes."

That sounds like a lot of work. Are you willing to put that much effort into freeing a nation or is this just an opinion that people say because you can seem open-minded and socially conscious without having to do anything? 
Is Nelson Mandela free yet?


  1. Well...I like tennis so....I'd do it. For Tibet.

  2. I will fight SO hard for Creme Eggs to stop being seasonal!
    BRB, making bumper stickers for that.

  3. You know that last suggestion could lead to a healthier, much happier, world. I think we could go for that one really. I often wonder just what these people are willing to do. If they were really willing to act, we'd have a free Tibet by now.

  4. No dice. Table tennis sucks.

  5. I wish I could do an hour of calisthenics every morning! I would definitely do that for Tibet.

  6. Isn't China like the best country in the world right now? They should just keep their mouth shut and reap the pride.

    And, if it is such a bad thing, why does the Dalai Lama ALWAYS look so happy? He loves the jet setting. If you told him:

    "Hey, they're freeing Tibet, did you hear?"

    he'd get a right sulk on

    1. You're right. He'd grit his teeth and give one of those fake cheers devoid of enthusiasm, "Yayyyy."

  7. I dunno much about Tibet either. I stayed with couple of Tibetian girls for a while, and I love Tibetians. Calling Japanese a Chinese maynt bring so much wrath but dont try calling a Tibetian a Chinese, she/he may burn you alive.

    I am all to free Falklands. And I all for British to pay reparation to all the inmates of the countries they colonised. Australia, India, New Zealand, South Africa and much more.

    Not fair right, Germans had to pay reparation only because they lost the war.
    Ignoring the holocaust, Germans actually atleast fought the war unlike the cheap British who sneaked in as traders and then took over the countries by lying and cheating and silent massacres and legal looting and revered slavery.

    Oops- dont post strong subjects Pickleope

  8. First off: I have a recipe for the creme eggs so I solved that whole, "You only get these nasty but awesome things at Easter" dilemma.

    Secondly, Peeps should not exist. So get Khloe K in that judge's robe and let's fucking free Tibet bitches!

  9. Whoa whoa whoa.. Jump back... Tibet is in China?

    Mind = Blown.



  10. I prefer the second proviso. But...that Kardashian would probably be less misogynistic than the current Justices of the SC, so, maybe worth a try. Sacrificng a kew kids is ok too, I don't like kids.

  11. I'm really apathetic to what happens either way. Kind of jaded to the whole topic.

  12. That's it: you can seem open-minded and socially conscious without having to do anything. I told you you were wise. How come you don't take my word for it? I always say, if people want to be free that means they feel they're not. We all want to be free, so - step 1 - let them. Step 2: how? That's where you step in. Convince world leaders they've gut the guts to boycot China. Step 3: we all need China, so we're its prisoners, too. Step 4 = step 1. See, that's why I'm not a politician.

  13. Tibet... hmmm, I suppose its a go-er. Hard to top places like america, though.

  14. If you love Tibet, let it go. If it was meant to be, it'll come back to you. Or something like that.

    Now can we get back to the REAL topic at hand, which is not to free Tibet, but to free Willy? I believe he's been captive for about 20 years now, but I'm only halfway through watching the VHS.

  15. Do I have to send you my address so you can send me my free Tibet? What is a Tibet by the way... I totally read your post!

    Free Tibet so it can do basically what China does but with different leaders? Sounds great!

  16. Those Doritos Tacos Locos, turd-flavored gummy bears and nacho cheese covered bunny peeps are some damn righteous good eats, I'm tellin' ya. Oh boy and yes'm on that.

    I'd like to see Tibet get free from China's oppressive leaders/wankers and I'm gonna pontificate about it until the Rising Sun don't shine, yes,m.

  17. I'm kind of indifferent. I mean I actually really like Peeps (but only if they are slightly stale) and I'm not really crazy about Cadbury Creme Eggs (although I will eat the Hell out of their Mini Eggs). And I don't know about reality TV chicks so...if those are China's demands...Let 'em keep Tibet.

    Wait! Are there any natural resources in Tibet we could use?

  18. I am not a nice person because I don't want to be, and it takes to much effort. Also, I learned about the Tibetan Freedom movement on Penn and Teller's Bullshit. The Dalai Lama can stick those beads up his Bodhi tree.