Hence I've decided to self-administer a Rorschach test (and charged myself $200/hour).
Image 1
Or it's my dad expressing the size of the FISH he was busy catching INSTEAD of watching me WIN my table tennis tournament!
Image 2
Or it represents how my dad saw my mom while in the delivery room during my birth. Hence why it's taken him 30 years to get that pack of cigarettes.
Or it's a Sea Monkey with sleep apnea.
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| Not a Rorschach test, a portrait of a lady Sea Monkey (compare to image above...you know I'm right, look at the white space...Thank you.). Art courtesy of the amazing artist, Travis Louie, image courtesy of this sea monkey freak. Now imagine her trying to sleep with air-passages blocked. |
Image 3
Or...no, I can't get "nature's enema hose" out of my head. Let's stick with that symbolism.
Image 4
Or it's my father never telling me he loved me, and laughing himself silly about it.
I think we've learned more about Rorschach and his weird animal paintings then we did about me...unless you count the fact I have a blog at all ...LOVE ME! LOOOOOoOOOoOooooOOOoooVE MEEeeeEEeE! Why do I bother with a blog when I could be satisfying my pathological need to fill the gaping cavern in my soul with anonymous sex, like normal people?
[Editor's post-post note: I actually don't have any daddy issues...I swear...unless that explains my all-mustachioed-male-nude-doggy-pile-on-a-baseball-field-while-Field of Dreams-is-playing-on-the-jumbotron.]
Freud was a coke head and if he'd have had you on his couch, his theories would have gone a whole nother direction. But Anna, now she would see your inner life as a means of suppressing the need to masturbate. I know, I know why suppress it, as the people of Nike say-just do it.
ReplyDeleteNow go out and get laid and fill that gaping hole (pun intended).
I've never had a rorshach test either, and I totally consider myself missing out. I actually really would love to take one. I don't think I'd see what you saw though, in fact I didn't.
ReplyDeleteI'm curious what you did see. I'll charge you half price to listen to you tell me what you saw.
DeleteHahahh the first one is definitely a uterus. Now if you'll excuse me, i'll be off tweeting about women's reproductive rights. (No but seriously, the first one is women's anatomy).
ReplyDeleteThe rest (in order) are a woman/a crab (i see both), two redheaded clowns high fiving (though i totally see the elephant thing after you said it) and some disgustingly terrifying bug.
I have taken Rorschach tests in the past (mainly because I'm madder than a hatter), but what I've always wanted to learn is how the hell to determine what a person's test results are. I mean obviously you (are also madder than a hatter)have exemplary answers to this self-inflicted test (what makes a hatter mad anyway?)because you're quite intelligent, but (and what IS a hatter? Like a dude that makes hats or is it someone who WEARS hats OR is does it have absolutely nothing at all to do with hats!?)gee I'd like to be able to administer the test to someone one day.
ReplyDeleteOh! I actually have an answer for some of your questions! And they're real answers this time! A Hatter is in fact one who makes hat. And they were considered "mad" because they used to line the hats with a mercury ring because it was cheap and maleable. The mercury would then obviously drive them insane. So the Mad Hatter in Alice in Wonderland is a craftsman who drove himself crazy by wearing his own creations. No excuse for the March Hare, though.
DeleteUh...you might want to look again at image 2 but this time focus on the white space. Let's just say that must have been very, very painful for Lady Gaga.
ReplyDeleteP.S. I am once again amazed amazed amazed at the way you think.
ReplyDeleteAll of these make me think of vagina.
ReplyDeleteI think there is something wrong with me.
So your up $200 and $200 in dept! I don't know what you're talking about, they all look like a deamon trying to eat my soul... but maybe that's just me.
ReplyDeleteI can tell you if you are correct, but I need a minuscule monetary contribution to verify your self-assessment.
Delete#1 - It's a skull.
ReplyDelete#2 - It's Krishna (which is better than Kali).
#3 - Two Catholic Cardinals arm wrestling.
#4 - Two African soldiers, back-to-back, holding swords up in front of their faces.
Or I could do the Quagmire: it's a chick. it's a chick. it's a chick. it's a chick.
Oh boy...Uh, I'd like to help you...No, nevermind, the snakes tell me that I need to be terrified of you assessment.
DeleteWhat's that, voices in my head?
Curl up in a shower and feel violated? Done.
I definitely noted my own observations:
ReplyDelete#1. Female reproductive system
#2. Frog
#3. Two people sitting facing each other with hands raised touching palm to palm, knee to knee.
#4. Weird monkey-frog hybrid thingy.
1. partial credit.
Delete2. partial credit.
3. way off and you need to do landscaping to atone for your sins.
4. Totally right. But please dig or perform some awesome dance routine anyway.
I MUST find a counselor to administer this test!! I just had a blast trying it out with my son and we both had almost exactly the same answers which means we are both equally insane or equally lack creativity. How fun...it's the little things in life, I suppose.
ReplyDeleteAlso - loved the info about the Mad Hatter. Learn something new everyday.
I've been DYING to take this test. But no one wants to give me one. Including Eddie. I'm pretty sure they are convinced my answers would be too awesome and.. like.. cure cancer or something. Thereby relinquishing the control big business has over illnesses and setting the world in a tailspin.
ReplyDeleteHugs!
Valerie
I had to look at the pictures first, come to my own conclusions, then read yours. I'm disappointed that we did not match up.
ReplyDelete1. Iron Man. Seriously, how did you not see this?
2. A disemboweled man (must be a latent Dexter influence)
3. Twin harlequin jesters high-fiving (lame I know)
4. A frog wearing giant Dr Dre earphones while conducting a symphony. I mean, obviously.
I saw my father everywhere, too. It must be because there are a few pictures of him right above my computer. I like to have something to laugh at. Unlike you, I really do have daddy issues. This is why I love older men. Oh, and because they have the best ointments.
ReplyDeleteThey all look like human pelvic girdle X Rays to me.
ReplyDeleteOh dear, now I'm really worried. I didn't see anything in any of the images. Well, of course after you gave your personal asstmt and the "daddy" thing, I did remember that I didn't get along too well with 'the' dad.
ReplyDeleteYou hated him, right? Not to worry, I'll bill you for $50 bucks, cheap really. You'll be fine.