Aren't We All Adult Babies?

In my continuing series where readers challenge me to write about absurd topics, Kianwi has challenged me with this, "Lady Gaga and Adult Babies: Does she like them, fight them, is she one of them?"

All of the above. She likes the idea, she's angry at them from taking even a little attention away from her, and her dressing as an adult baby seems like the logical end game. Adult babies seem like something right in Lady Gaga's wheelhouse. With her insatiable craving for attention, is she that much different from the adult baby fetish community? She wore a meat dress. They wear diapers. Thin line.

In case you don't know, Lady Gaga is an adult singer who puts on weird get-ups like a four year-old who is asked to dress him/herself and they end up coming out wearing a tutu, Superman cape, no underwear, a pirate hat, and flippers.

Adult babies are dudes who dress and act like babies to satisfy whatever impulse drives a person to cry and poop themselves. 

So what if she dresses up like a weirdo? She's not the first pop star to try and achieve popularity using something other than talent, and she's not the most egregious. She's less gross than Kiss simply from a "not constantly trying to take your money through vile over-branding" standpoint. If she dressed up as an adult baby, it would still be less egregious than selling a coffin with her face on it (yep, Kiss does sell a coffin). People forget that David Bowie was the master of gimmicks. You may not like her music, that's subjective, but she's trotting on well-worn territory. Other gimmick musicians: Elton John, Devo, Flaming Lips, the Misfits, Madonna, Jerry Lee Lewis (what, you thought he was dating his cousin for real?), ACDC, Seal (awwww I'm mad at myself for making an implied Seal's messed up face joke), and on and on and on. Don't be an adult baby and complain about Lady Gaga. 

Yeah, sure that's not a diaper on there.

So what if she tried to garner more fame by adult babying it up? Don't we all try to get attention in one way or another? Much like adult babies, my version of someone having to clean my own poop is this blog. That's a pretty clear metaphor. Your version of a meat dress might be to demand cuddle time. It's all relative, and I don't judge either...maybe a little. We are all Lady Adult Gaga Baby. 

See, I can get in on the action too. BEAT YA GAGA!

Don't believe me? Going to a restaurant has an element of adult babyism. Adults are dispatched to tend to your every need, they feed you and clean up after you. Think about that next time you drunkenly dine at Denny's.

You didn't think you were getting out of this post without the most
disgusting picture of an adult baby I could find, did you? Image source

I support you, Lady Gaga (she's a reader). I also support you, adult babies. In fact, my grandpa wears diapers! Granted he's doing it because he's incontinent, but if he could tap into whatever fetish that is, it would really take the degradation out of being 80 and crapping your pants if Gramps could tap into the adult baby fetish (yes I am really focused on that aspect of the fetish and I don't think I need to explain why). If he could somehow get into that, his golden years would be infinitely more enjoyable. Of course it would really freak out the staff at the old person repository most people call "assisted living facilities," if he popped a Viagra every time he felt a backdoor boom-boom coming on.

In summation, if you pay me well, I will be the "mama, dada" and change your diapers, adult babies, with an open offer to do the same with Lady Gaga when she inevitably goes that route. 

[Editor's note: I believe I deserve some credit for going the entire length of this post without pointing out the obvious "googoo Lady gaga". You're welc...Awww crap.]