Million Penny Ideas

This post is in case you don't want to sell parts of yourself like a NASCAR chasis

Unlike my million dollar idea series, below I've compiled some ideas for making some extra cash in desperate times, or just times when you need to upgrade your phone or pay off some student debt. 

Take a part time job: Oh, I'm sorry, are you really doing all that much stuff in the evenings three nights a week that you can't spare a few hours working at a menial job? Choose carefully, however. If you want to exercise a little more and save money on food, get a job at a restaurant. If you want to do all the same things you're doing now at night, get a job as a security guard or a gas station attendant. You'll get to sit there all alone, watch stuff on your computer or even bring your kids along...Wait, if you have kids, why don't they all have jobs? We'll address that next. 

These are part time jobs are crappy so you really don't have to apply yourself. Hell, get drunk on the job for all anyone cares! By the time they catch you, you'll have at least earned a couple hundred bucks just for exercising or farting around on the internet, things you would probably be doing anyway. 

Only the most incredibly stupid and irresponsible things could be accomplished in a work environment.
Image Source

Oh, so you have children and think that's an excuse for not earning extra money. Well, it's certainly an excuse for why your money is disappearing. Save money now by renting your child to people waiting to adopt or wondering if they should have kids. It eases the burden on you, provides a service, and gives you and your significant other some ample nookie...ha ha ha, what am I saying, you're new parents, it'll give you time to sleep. 

If your kids are in the 8-13 year old range, have them steal for you. They're in that sweet spot where they can conceivably go into a store unsupervised, steal, and then you can put whatever they steal up on EBay. Even if they get caught, what's the worst that'll happen, they get a stern talking to?

Oooooooh! Okay, maybe THAT is the worst case scenario. Image Source of a teen candy thief getting brutally tackled by an overzealous officer who thinks he's in Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol. 

Your body is worth money. NO, not just prostitution (but that is a great money maker). Selling blood is no longer a money maker. There are too many saps out there giving away their blood for free, same with semen, gentlemen, sorry. But ladies, they're still paying if you want to donate your ovaries. Or if you want to donate your bone marrow, I think that's still a paid gig. You can still sell your body to medical science. Also, if you live near a college or scientific institution, you can still sell your live body to medical experimentation. That's how I got through college and the hand growing out of my knee is just a bonus (it's good for climbing and basketball).

And these are just a few. Imagine what you could accomplish with 98% less dignity and skilled hands you don't mind washing a lot?

There are also things like tattoo practice subject, art class nude model, interstate drug smuggler, sell your hair to wig companies, save money by only using a credit card then disputing all the charges (a temporary solution at best), freelance bounty hunter, or garage sale garbage flipper (buying other people's used crap then selling it at a premium online), or move back in with your parents then have them committed as mentally unsound then sell off their assets (hi, Mom, I know you're an occasional reader). 
For your financial freedom, you are welcome.