|The neon lights mean it's time to put the kids to bed, take your computer under the sheets, because it's time for Pickleope After Dark...but you just read that so it was pointless for me to repeat it.|
|This was a commissioned portrait, but the image of the actual pug made me cry so it was replaced by that mini dog thing. Image Source|
|"The Sullen Coypu of Destiny" by Ed Clews|
But the coypu (named Mr. Marzapan) and he were in love. It was consensual.
Well, I want to ease his transition back into the world. I want to make sure he comes back into the world to remember the spark that made life worth living.
Which do you think is better:
Take him to the zoo because you can't spell "zoophilia" without "zoo"?
Take him to a rodeo where "bronco busting" is just an anagram for "Bob crusting on" or "scrubbing onto."
Should I just let him watch the Puppy Bowl I taped for him yesterday? (I say "taped" because new technology scares him so I recorded it using a vintage VCR.)
For a zoophile, the zoo is like a strip club in Utah: you can see all that tantalizing booty but you have to keep your distance and no booze served on the premises. (Hey, Association of Zoos and Aquariums, you need an expert at marketing? Look no further.)
Then there's the rodeo which is like watching a live porn show for someone into bestiality. All them mens riding bareback on them big strong aminanimanals, all sinewy and gettin' roped and bucked. It's what I imagine it's like for pervy businessmen who take trips to the seedier parts of Thailand. I shudder to think of what would happen when the kids participate in the calf scramble.
|Makes it weird when put into this context, no? Source|
Welcome home Ex-Cousin Uncle Creepy Darryl...Wait a second, I think I just realized why they called him "Creepy Darryl."
Postscript to this intensely creepy exercise in distorting perceptions: Not even I, the person who allowed my brain to delve into such a messed up topic, could muster the courage to do an image search of "bestiality" or "zoophilia." Good luck and godspeed to any of you who are, and please don't send me the results.