Couples With Children Hate Sex

They're so white, they could probably solar power a house.  Image source

Quite often when a couple who already has multiple children is about to have yet another, like the Duggars who have 19 kids, the first semi-polite, but still gross, half-joke people make is, "hey man, you need to let her off the bed." The implication being, "wow you have sex a lot."

There is a delusion that people who have a lot of kids have a lot of sex. In the opposite shall ye find the truth. 

The number of kids a person has is inversely proportionate to the amount of sex he/she has. Couples who have more than three kids are avoiding sex by all means necessary.

Don't get me wrong, "baby-making sex" is still probably the fourth most vigorous type of sex you can have--1) breakup sex; 2) people who have been friends for years who decide to have sex for the first time; 3) forbidden sex; 4) baby making sex; 5) fresh out of prison sex (or just stopped being pope sex...visualize it. do it. put that image in your head.)

But baby making sex happens in short bursts then goes on hiatus for at least 10 months (the extra month is kegel time).  Then after the kid is born, good luck finding time or energy for fun sex. The more kids a couple has, the less time they have for naked slappy time. Children are sex-repellant. 

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If a couple has 13 kids, I imagine they've had sex a maximum of 13 times. Sure, there's no reason couples can't have sex while the woman is pregnant. (No, guys, no one has a yard-stick sized horse schwanz that could poke an embryo in the head. Not possible. The best you could do is give an in-utero baby motion sickness.)

Also, an abnormally high number of children is evidence that a couple isn't good at sex. 
You have eight kids? Obviously you haven't had sex enough times to know what the "pull-out method" is, nor how it works. 

Yeah, this book is popular because children adhere to a stable sleep pattern. 

Next time you have a friend who is having a fourth child, first, tell them that a baby shower at this point would be redundant, then ask them why they hate sex so much. 

That should be a good game to play at the baby shower. "Justify another baby" is way better than "pin the penis on the fetus" or whatever it is people do at those things.