I'm the Worst and So Can You

Turns out I am or have been the worst at just about everything. Hold on, don't leave, this isn't a self-pity post, in fact, it's a self-empowerment post. While I have been the worst at things, I'd like to think I learn from them and subsequently become the best.

Source

For example, on Monday, I was, for a brief moment, the worst at walking. The WORST. Sure, there are paraplegics who can't walk and some would consider them the worst at walking, but at least they aren't actively injuring themselves while making the attempt. I think I broke my pinky toe...again. I've cracked this toe in twain a minimum of three times. I've lost count. That's how bad I am at walking.

BUT! I'm also the BEST at walking. I am tall, meaning I have a center of gravity that hovers somewhere in the realm of awkward. The fact that I can remain upright at all is nothing short of a testament to my greatness as a biped. There have been moments where someone's dumb toddler was being the worst at walking and stumbled in the path of my enormous, unwieldy feet. I did not stomp on the child. Oh no, I gracefully avoided child in such a profoundly graceful manner that any ballerinas in the vicinity most assuredly set their tutu on fire in shame.

That's one angry ballerina. Image source

That's the beauty of being able to admit you were/are terrible in a moment, you can learn from that moment, become better, but also have a greater appreciation for when you do something great. Like right now when I'm being the absolute best at blogging (Not like when I was out of ideas and decided to accept a blog award and follow all the rules of said award.).

Shakespeare (Billy Shakes to his friends) knows it's true, but
what do I know, we're only BEST FRIENDS!

If you do anything enough times, you'll be the worst at some brief moment. I have been the worst at driving, many many times. Like the multiple times I've been in/the cause of accidents. Or the time I flipped off that nun. Or the time a guy with a prosthetic hand folded down his prosthetic fingers to flip me off. We all have low points is my point. The Beatles have some of the worst songs imaginable ("I Wanna Hold Your Hand" is worse than any Justin Bieber song. Yeah, I'm planting my flag there. I welcome the opportunity to ignore any debate you foolishly offer as an exercise in futility.) and Shakespeare still bored the crap out of ancient audiences with Henry IV Part II.

We're all terrible SOMETIMES. We all have an off day. Michael Jordan is the Michael Jordan of f**king up. Embrace it. If you can get your arrogance to back the hell off for a minute, you may just learn from your mistakes and then, when you're back to being awesome, you'll be all that more awesome because you learned from your off day.