Rolling Stones' "Brown Sugar"
|Yeah, it's a coincidence that one of the other songs on the single is "Bitch"|
"A'ight mates [sorry, that's my written interpretation of how Mick Jagger talks] howz 'bout dis one den? I got this song idea right? It's about a slave master who enjoys raping his slave. No, mate, no, it's a'ight, it's not just racist, it's misogynistic too. But it can be interpreted different, see? All a dese people will think we're open-minded and love black women because we're all about free love. What's dat den? You're too high t' unerstand a word I'm sayin'? Bugger me, let's get t' recording mates."
[Seriously, "Brown Sugar" is a jaunty tune about a slave owner who just can't get enough of raping his slave. Some people have later interpreted it as being about heroin and addiction. Doubtful considering the full lyrics including the line "just like a black girl should." Ick, Mick.]
"Okay team, I've brought all of you together, you young mutants, to fight against the prejudice facing our kind, us a minority, becoming a vocal minority fighting both oppression and injustice! We shall be the X-Men!"
|No kidding, clearly 80's super-hero.|
"Uh, excuse me, Professor, a couple of points of contention if I may. First, if we're going to be risking our lives for you and your vision, can we do away with the formality of titles and just call you Charles? Second, the 'X-Men'? Are you sure this isn't just an amazing and perplexing display of unparalleled narcissism?"
"No, the X part isn't about me, heh heh, of course not, no, it's...uh...uh...A reference to that x-factor in your genes that makes you special, a mutant!"
"Okay, that's fine, I can get behind the 'X,' but what about the intensely sexist second half of this super-team naming scheme of yours?"
"Men? It's like 'human' but we're more than human, we're 'X-men.'"
"So we're supposed to fight against alienation and oppression by donning a clearly sexist name? Why not X-Factor or something that strips away the term 'mutant' which we all realize is a slur? Maybe call ourselves 'Titans' or something?"
[Professor Xavier uses his mind control thingy to get his way, end of conversation.]
And how about one daring act of Feminism before we go. How about Joan of Arc's pitch meeting, aka her trial in front of Bishop of Beauvais Pierre Cauchon:
|This image is a spoiler for the Joan d'Arc story. Sorry.|
[Translated from French...of course] "Good Bishop, I do implore you, my acts were not those of heresy, but of divine providence...what's that smell? Tis true that I claim to have been guided and guided others through the direct word of...seriously, guys it smells like a campfire in here. Oh, heavens, I'm starting to sweat. BUT not because I am nervous, for I have righteousness on my side! I really should have thrown on some antiperspirant. I cannot be judged by you for I am only judged by...OH GOD I'M ON FIRE!"
Her pitch didn't go so well.
Happy International Women's Day to all our ovaried friends!