|I'm sure this is environmentally friendly, but I|
would never wash my hands again. Image source
For a long time, I thought that the birds outside of Costco only had one leg. This one is not totally on me. I have a wonderfully maniacal step-dad (love him dearly, I would call him dad, but I did that once and without even hesitating a second or bothering to make eye-contact, he told me never to do that again) who, while we were eating Costco hotdogs (which I thought was tasty, another dumb belief) there were these small black birds who we never saw walk, they'd only fly from spot to spot and for whatever reason only stood on one leg. With the same dry confidence he used to tell me never to call him dad, he offhandedly says, "yeah, those are the One-Legged Blackbird, they're all born with just one leg, that's why they don't walk, they fly." And I accepted this as truth for a very long time until I finally saw one land on a wire. I was 13 years old.
|See? It LOOKS like it has one leg, but that jerk is just hiding it.|
Birds are jerks. Image source
|Nice try, modified Furry, but you're not fooling me, nothing|
in this picture has a soul. Especially that goatee. Source
Those are just a few of the more embarrassing ones that have affected me to this day. I have no problem throwing things out at my age in reaction to the personification of objects I did in my youth. I am skeptical of everything, to an unhealthy degree because of the funny trick played on me. I poop in the sink to cut out the middle man. One of those previous statements is not true. YOU decide which one.
What are some of the weird, dumb things you believed as a child?