I'm sorry for putting the imagery of old man testicles in your mind.
I'm sorry for suggesting that maybe dolphins aren't super-cute friends of the sea, and instead, slimy aqua-rapists.
|Can you see the molester-dolphin!?!|
Please accept my deepest apologies for hinting that Mark Wahlberg is a racist jackass who blinded an Asian person simply for being Asian, and not outright saying he's an unrepentant racist.
|Yeah, you're right, blinding a guy was a youthful indiscretion. That's not just a massive character flaw of a walking bag of douche. Image source.|
Really, please, really, I am sooooooo sorry for implying that Gitmo is a place government officials use like an international truck-stop with unlimited glory holes. (Please stop treating my site as a virtual toilet? Shoe-tapping is not going to get you a free blow-blow, bro.)
|"Do you know where this finger has been!?! Smell it! Smeeeelllll it! RIGHT UP THE WAZOO! Yeah. Yeah, that's the fun stuff. Oh god, did I forget my shirt again?"|
Other than those, the time I accidentally abused that child who was really a total dick, and that time I broke into that family's house and slept in their child's bed a-la Downey Jr., I apologize for nothing.
Really, I'm just sorry for everything I write. So sorry.